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Depressiong skip if you want too – copied from Multiply

  Feb 17, ’07 11:32 AM
for everyone
Hi,

I decided I had better rant somewhere because even watching one whole disk of Season 1 Buffy didn’t help make me feel better.

My mouth has gotten me into trouble, sort of, again. I tend to say what I want, when I want, to whoever I want too.

Day before yesterday I was having a conversation with Carol another co-worker of mine while doing a reset. I said that she reminded me a lot of a friend of mine from Osco. Laurie was her name. She was really independent, self assured, almost military in the way she did her job, and rarely smiled. I thought she was always mad at me constantly. She didn’t appear to like me at all and I was very intimidated by her.

Carol is the same way but add a temper and very little patience for idiots who don’t want to work ( and there are quite a few we work with at Crossmark like that)! I told her that when I first started at Crossmark people warned me not to tick Carol off because of her temper. Then I went on to say the very first time I worked with you, you told a manager of the store off because you didn’t think we needed to do what he wanted us to do on top of the actual reset. So that kind of enforced to me, what I had heard. But I then said, I was very glad to be working with her today because she is very funny, I was learning a lot from her, and she rarely goes off without a good reason. So basically, I thought I was giving her a huge compliment. She is the total opposite of me, I would rather follow than lead. I hate being in charge. During this whole conversation, I don’t remember saying any specific names as to who said she can be difficult to work with.

She called my boss the next day in tears because of what I said. So now, I hate being in charge all the time. I hate driving where I don’t know where I am going and in snow storms with zero visibility to boot and NOW I can’t even talk to the people I work with because they might take what I say the wrong way!! I told Scott what happened and he said I shouldn’t of said that to Carol. I was giving her compliments!!! I don’t get it!

Now I am upset because I hurt someone’s feelings and am not sure how to fix that! I think she got another co-worker named Peggy involved because she thought that is who said she was difficult. So Peggy is probably angry at me too. And Scott basically said I should just shut my mouth.

Today is Scott’s birthday and I have to pretend to be all happy happy when I just want to sit down and cry because he belittled me instead of supporting me. Then I called Caitlin today to remind her that it is her Dad’s birthday. She told me she isn’t working anymore at all and doesn’t have too. She got engaged on Valentine’s Day to this guy in Fond Du Lac. She is moved into his house. They run a kennel, own 4 horses, own a construction company and the guy she is engaged too Mother has never had to work a single day in her life. Caitlin’s first divorce hearing is on the 21st of February.

So now, yippee, I wake up every morning hating my job (any job), too tired too exercise because I am always working, and getting fatter by the day because I am also not able to eat much of anything on the run but junk. I have already moved up to size 18 and am sure 20’s are not that far away. So basically, my life sucks, it isn’t fair, I am tired of being tired and I just want to ball my eyes out and can’t. Every time I tell Scott I should ask for a day off so that I am only doing the 4 days I am suppose to be working, he says no. So I get to be happy person yet again all day today. Fun! And I don’t even feel like looking at stitching since I am so depressed.

Chele

 
 
 
10 Comments

clearstar
clearstar wrote on Feb 17, ’07
{{{{Chele}}}}….I’m kind of lost for words….sending you lots and lots of big hugs and wishes for you day to get better.

mdgtjulie
mdgtjulie wrote on Feb 17, ’07
Wow, I’m sorry you’ve had such a tough week Chele. I’ve got a tendancy to just speak and not think about how others may take things. That’s why I’m good on the net, lol. I can take time to think about what I’m going to say. Were I you, I might try going back to your co worker, and letting her know that you weren’t being critical, but that you meant that you admire her for being able to speak her mind, especially as she only does it when someone isn’t doing their job to the best of their ability. You can soothe a lot of hurts by apologizing for the way something came out and admitting that even though your job is a leadership position, you are trying to emulate her and learn to not be afraid to speak your mind. As for your boss, I think he should have tried to mediate the conversation instead of telling you that you are wrong and to shut up. If I were in her position, and you came to me and said that you didn’t mean it the way it sounded and that you look at me as a role model, I know that my hurt feelings would be more than soothed. I hope it all works out for you. And, I don’t know what type of business you work at, but President’s Day is Monday. Will you get extra time off for that?

 

gothtigger
gothtigger wrote on Feb 17, ’07
Hey Chele, I’ve been in both those pickles more than once {{{{{{{CHELE}}}}}}}}}

I wont say anything about Scott. My ex also made me go to work when I was dick or tired or didn’t want to – he also constantly belittled and *always* took the other person’s side against me no matter who it was or what it was about – I still don’t know why he did either of those things ….

As for your work situation – yep I’ve had a bosses like that (have one now in fact) Useless just useless. As Julie says, I’d try to talk to the co-worker again and let her know that you were complimenting her, that you greatly respect her and love working with her. She might understand or she might rat on you again and have your boss come down on you again (I’ve had both happen) but at least you will know that you’ve tried to make amends – and it gives you something positive to focus on !!!!

Speaking from personal experience the only things that get me out such bad depression are a kind word from someone I care about (never got that from ex-hubby) or a positive plan of action. If I could get a plan of action happening, a decision made, then I could swim out of the sea of depression and negativity I was drowning in.

Dunno if it would help you – I only offer it as a suggestion as that helped me …..

Now eat a piece of fruit, its good for you and you could use the sugar boost if you’ve been on a crying jag – then go and do something positive for yourself – a walk or some stitching and firmly put all of this from your mind until you go to work next – distract yourself mentally and firmly until you can put something into action 🙂 And remember we here love you and have many hugs for you and you are a wonderful person !!!!! Some of us love your bluntness because we are same way! You are not a bad person, or wrong or useless – you are wonderful !!!!

And I certainly hope you’ve managed to have an hour’s sleep before you read this – sleep is a wonderful escape sometimes 🙂

Comment deleted at the request of the author.

clearstar
clearstar wrote on Feb 18, ’07

Now eat a piece of fruit, its good for you and you could use the sugar boost if you’ve been on a crying jag – then go and do something positive for yourself – a walk or some stitching and firmly put all of this from your mind until you go to work next – distract yourself mentally and firmly until you can put something into action 🙂 And remember we here love you and have many hugs for you and you are a wonderful person !!!!! Some of us love your bluntness because we are same way! You are not a bad person, or wrong or useless – you are wonderful !!!!

And I certainly hope you’ve managed to have an hour’s sleep before you read this – sleep is a wonderful escape sometimes 🙂

Everything Mel said would have been the words I was looking for yesterday afternoon….

rifestitch
rifestitch wrote on Feb 18, ’07
{{{{Chele}}}} I hope you are feeling a bit better now; I know how it feels, believe me. I can’t tell you how many times I have done the same thing – in fact, upsetting people, totally unintentionally, is a special skill I have! Usually, I know when I’ve done it, so I can go start smoothing things over – my work is stressful enough when we’re not at each other’s throats! It’s when I’ve done it and have no clue that surprises me! It will get better, I promise!

A walk and a good book to take you away for a bit, and if you feel so inclined, some well-deserved stitching! Feel better! We’re here for you! W-O-R-K is a four-letter word, after all – that’s not coincidence!

clearstar
clearstar wrote on Feb 19, ’07

I can’t tell you how many times I have done the same thing – in fact, upsetting people, totally unintentionally, is a special skill I have!

Yup…..with me, it’s a regular case of open mouth and insert foot.
I did think I was getting better at not doing that but apparently not! Sigh.

heypaula
heypaula wrote on Feb 20, ’07
Oh’ Chele, honey… I’m sorry I missed this; I didn’t get much online time over the weekend. I hope this finds you doing a bit better… I’d second all of the great advice here. I might add, however, the bit of a good book in a bubble bath if you have that option. But the part I *will* repeat is that we love you here.. and especially because you *do* speak your mind; and because we know we can do the same around you! We’ve also had a benefit your co-worker hasn’t – we’ve known you for quite a while, and we know that there’s nothing at all malicious or spiteful in you!

I won’t comment on the family stuff – I’m like Mel in that I’ve had some experiences with an ex that would color any sort of reply or advice I’d try to give, and I don’t think that would be fair to anyone. And as for Caitlin, well, I don’t have any experience in those areas, either.. I hope she realizes that she has family that loves her and that she’s being a bit more wise in her choices than the last time…

Lots of hugs and good thoughts headed your way!

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About xsfav14 - Chele

Married to Scott for 20 years. Have 3 kids between us - Jami, Kenny and Caitlin. Have 5 Grand children - will be 6 in about 4 months - Jade Elizabeth and Jacob Matthew both 13, Skyler Ryan - 5, Landon Joseph who will be 4 in September, and Kyla who is 10 months. We also have a dog named Madison. I mainly cross stitch as my hobby but I also read Paranormal Romance books!

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